Keeping Touch With Joy

Jeanne Ray, in her book, Eat Cake, got it right:

"Cakes have gotten a bad rap. People equate virtue with turning down dessert. There is always one person at the table who holds up her hand when I serve the cake. 'No, really, I couldn't,' she says, and then gives her flat stomach a conspiratorial little pat. Everyone who is pressing a fork into that first tender layer looks at the person who declined the plate and they all think, 'That person is better than I am. That person has discipline.' But that isn't a person with discipline, that is a person who has completely lost touch with joy. A slice of cake never made anybody fat. You don't eat the whole cake. You don't eat a cake every day of your life. You take the cake when it is offered because the cake is delicious. You have a slice of cake and what it reminds you of is someplace that's safe, uncomplicated, without stress. A cake is a party, a birthday, a wedding. A cake is what's served on the happiest days of your life."

Now, I don't particularly like cake myself, but I love the principle of this. You could substitute anything delicious here, like cinnamon rolls, or cream cheese chicken, or Olive Garden, or anythiing, really.

Discipline isn't depriving yourself of all that you find good in this life. It is simply everything in moderation. Discipline is saying to yourself, "I will eat that piece of cake, and enjoy it, and then I'm done." It's being able to stop after one piece. Or one TV show, or one movie, or one night out a week. It's having the determination to keep everything, even good things, in moderation. Knowing that too much of a good thing is bad for you and that you will tire of it.

It's keeping touch with joy.

Being able to enjoy that piece of cake to its fullest, savoring each and every bite. Telling yourself that it is just fine for you to have this piece of cake, and to savor every delicious morsel. To be happy that you can find joy in the little parts of life, and that you have the discipline to control yourself. Loving every second that you eat that cake. Enjoying the moment with the people around you; remembering these moments. All of these are involved with keeping touch with joy.

Notice that, in the analogy, several people were handed a piece of cake, but they all saw it in different ways. Keeping touch with joy isn't in the cake itself, but in your attitude about the cake.

As I get older, I'm finding that outside sources of joy are harder and harder to come by. I'm realizing that I need to find joy within myself, or I will never be as happy as I could be. As Benjamin Franklin said, "Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of the mind than on outward circumstances." This is not to say that circumstances do not affect happiness, but that your attitude affects your happiness 1 trillion percent more. It's the whole glass empty/full idea. Change your perspective on a situation and you'll be surprised how much better you feel. Instead of , "why me, oh woe is me" attitude, think, "wow, I am sure learning a lot from this experience!" Not only will you learn more, but your happiness and your contentment will increase. And everyone loves to be around happy people! :)