Patience

I know I have it with my kiddos. Now I need it again....

Only 3 more months until I can move back in with Jackie, Ashley, and Leah. I can make it through 3 months, right?

Especially since I'll be gone on Friday for about 2 weeks??

I can do it.

Dear Carriage Cove, why couldn't I have lived by myself this summer???? Huh???? I think I would have been much better off. I slightly resent that you made me move.

Touched

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that my life was going to be touched in a profound way by someone who I don't even know.

I went to Deseret Book yesterday to get some new piano music for prelude on Sundays. One of my absolute FAVORITE LDS composers is Paul Cardall. His Primary album is astounding. His compositions are very simple, but very profound and beautiful. They are my favorites to play. At the store, I wanted to buy all of his albums, but, I'm not Rockefeller, so I had to choose just one. I ended up with "Sacred Piano," because it had several of his original compositions, as well as some hymn arrangements.

As I was practicing today, I was inexplicably drawn to one simple, original piece, entitle "Gracie's Theme." The melody was haunting and very, very beautiful. It was a simple piece to sightread, but I found myself playing it three times in a row. There was just something that really touched my spirit about this song. I wasn't sure what it was, but the simple melody struck a chord in my heart. In my head, I envisioned the song being composed for a little girl who has passed on. It has a mournful tone at the beginning. But then, through the song, I envisioned the little girl, now in the arms of her loving Savior, safe, and happy, and free from pain (I assumed she died of sickness). Free from this world with its sins and pain. Too sweet to stay on this earth. Too faithful to need to be here for long.

How could I know how close I was to the actual story behind this song?

I came home and found the song on Youtube, along with a video memorial to Gracie Gledhill, the girl the song was written for. She died two weeks before her first birthday. I didn't know what illness she had, but could tell she was sick from the pictures. However, she was a beautiful little baby girl. Even through the pictures, I could see how sweet her spirit was and hoy much joy she brought to her family, even though she was only there for a short time. I could see how much that family loved her, and, while listening to the song in the background, could see how well the song fitted that little baby girl and that family. What a great job, Paul Cardall.

I then was curious to see what was wrong with Baby Gracie, so I did some research. She had a problem with her heart and died after a failed heart transplant. Cardall himself has a heart problem, and wrote this song for this girl and her family because her story touched him so. He himself has now had a heart transplant and it has been successful thus far. I can imagine that he now has an even more special place in his heart for little Gracie.

Playing this song, watching the video, reading about these people, has really touched my heart tonight. The song itself was enough to bring tears to my eyes, but combined with learning the whole story, something really just struck me. It wasn't just sadness for Gracie's family, since they lost this sweet child. It was also the hope that fills the middle of the song; the knowledge of eternal families and the knowledge of where Gracie is right now. She is with her Heavenly Father in a place with no pain! I am sure she is happy and content and working together with all the other souls up there. Her purpose on Earth was fulfilled. She gained a mortal body, without which she would not be able to gain exaltation. Her mission on this Earth is complete. She has touched many lives, I would think, through this melody that Cardall has masterfully composed. She has at least touched mine profoundly. If you let her, she will touch your life, too.

Have You Ever

Have you ever had a dream that felt very, very real? Felt like it was actually happening, and, what's more, you were very excited that it was happening? And then have you ever woken up from that dream feeling very sad, because a) you didn't get to finish the dream and b) it wasn't actually happening? And then your whole morning is spent trying to finish the dream in your head, but for some reason you are never able to quite capture the feeling and the tone of the dream again, and anything your head makes up just doesn't fit right? And you really just want to go back to sleep and see how this particular dream ends?

Just a Kiss

Heard this on the radio last week and I just LOVE LOVE LOVE it. :)



I know that if we give this a little time
It will only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch in the fire burning so bright
And I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight
I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight

Fairy Tales

I am not ashamed to admit it.

I watched the royal wedding this morning.


I did NOT get up at 4 am to watch it. That's ridiculous. I watched it online as I was getting ready for school. But I couldn't help myself. And I couldn't figure out why. I was enthralled as I watched Kate walk down the aisle in her beautiful, classy gown. I laughed when I saw Prince Harry nudge William as he (Harry) turned around and peeked at Kate. I was captivated as I listened to them repeat their vows....and not just because of their divine accents. :) I don't know what it was, but something about this wedding had me spellbound. I couldn't get enough footage online to satisfy me.

And then, the balcony? The icing on the cake. They were so cute up there, and I'm glad they kissed twice, because the first one was kind of lame, I'll admit.

I have been trying to figure out all day why I was so engrossed in this wedding. Truly, I haven't paid much attention to all the hooplah over it in the last couple of months. I wasn't planning on watching it at all! But then I turned it on and something sucked me in. I spent all day trying to figure it out. Then, at lunch, in the faculty room, all the other teachers were talking about it too. One made this excellent point: We are obsessed with it because it is every little girl's dream. Fall in love, marry the prince, wear a gorgeous gown, and become a princess and live happily ever after. Once we get older, reality hits, and we no longer desire to be a princess; we just want to fall in love, marry a wonderful man, and have a happy life. But the little girl inside all of us eats up this princess-happily-ever-after stuff, and that, my friends, is why I couldn't unglue my eyes from my computer this morning. The little girl inside me just wouldn't let me, and you know what?

That's just fine.

Nonfiction Obsession

Usually, I absolutely love fiction novels and tend to detest nonfiction.

Nonfiction is boring.
Nonfiction is slow.
Nonfiction doesn't have a plotline.
Nonfiction doesn't require visualization.
Nonfiction isn't a good escape.
Nonfiction doesn't keep me interested.
Nonfiction can't be read in one sitting.
Nonfiction is a slower read (at least for my brain).

These have been my mantras for the last 18 years or so that I have been reading.

And then, I read this book:


And it got me hooked on nonfiction.

I went to the library today. I checked out TWO novels. And 8 nonfiction books! And in the last 4 hours, I have read 3 1/2 of those nonfiction books. This is getting seriously ridiculous, how much I love reading this books. I am learning a lot; maybe that's why I like them so much, since I am no longer in school. They are so interesting!

But back to the first nonfiction I have chosen to read in a very long time. The Five Love Languages is a fascinating read about the way each of us fills up our emotional reservoir that tells us we are loved (by family, friends, significant others). We each have a different way of expressing love. I like that it doesn't just focus on romantic love, but talks about familial and friendship love as well. Thinking about those relationships helps you to discover your primary love language.

Although, don't worry, my mom was always right about me. I am just wired differently - I got the exact same score for 4 out of the 5 languages - and one language scored 0. So...apparently I'm a freak. :) Or just loves a lot? Or is multilingual? I'm not sure. But it was still a fabulous read. I think I'm going to read it again here soon. I'm sure I will learn even more!